Scientists at the Centre for Interdisciplinary Research have revealed human tears to be the most effective substance for DNA precipitation, reporters from the Independent Standard have discovered.

Conventional protocols for the precipitation of DNA involve the use of ethanol and salts to remove nucleic acids from solution. Salts may include sodium chloride, lithium chloride, sodium acetate, ammonium acetate and others. However, human tears have shown faster and more complete precipitation of DNA than traditional protocols.

PhD candidate Polly Maddox is credited with the discovery.

“I was really struggling to get good yields from my plasmid preps and I suppose I let a few tears fall into my microfuge tube. Since starting my PhD I have become a habitual drinker, so I guess the blend of salt and basal alcohol were exactly what was needed!”

Giving a panicked smile Polly went on to say “I can prove it with a graph. I collected data and everything!”

We asked Maddox’s supervisor, Professor Orpen Smith, for his thoughts on the discovery.

“I don’t approve of emotions in the workplace. They’re a sign of weakness. However the revelation that tears are a scientific resource is good incentive to make more students cry. This is a wonderful day for science.”