University managers are desperately scrambling for a response to the news that a northern chap has refused to do a Southern blot.

“This is totally unprecedented”, Tae Buffey of University of the Saaaff told the Independent Standard. “We understood tensions were building in the lab, and we heard that the fellow in question repeatedly talked about ‘t’nucl’tides’ instead of “nucleotides” and insisted on adding gravy granules instead of Marvel skim milk granules to blocking buffers”. Buffey added, “It’s just going to cause so many problems now”. The Independent Standard now understands there are real fears of Southern softies boycotting Northern blots, leading to the possibility of all out ‘blot-wars’ that could blight Science for decades.

The cheeky chappie in question couldn’t be found but a friend who didn’t want to be named told The Independent Standard “It’s like Alan Bennett, ye’ cn’take t’man owt’Leeds but y’cn’t take Leeds out t’man”.